


the ghosts before i met you

by ohtempora



Category: Protector of the Small - Tamora Pierce, Tortall - Tamora Pierce
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-20
Updated: 2014-12-20
Packaged: 2018-03-02 08:45:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2806469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohtempora/pseuds/ohtempora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You're not a proper Yamani anymore," Yuki says.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the ghosts before i met you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LeBibish](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeBibish/gifts).



> happy happy yuletide!! i was really excited when i got this assignment, and i hope you enjoy - i loved kel a TON growing up, she is my forever girl.
> 
> thanks to m. for the beta! 
> 
> title is vaguely from laura marling, i don't know

At first, she is not supposed to miss the Islands.

They ride a ship back, decked in Tortallan colors, as befits diplomats of both her father and her mother's standing. They're to dock at Port Legann. It will be the first bit of Tortall that Kel sees, which is fitting, because six years ago, it was the last.

She pulls a fan out of her sash and goes to find Adalia and Oranie for a game of fan toss on the upper deck.

 

 

"You're not a proper Yamani anymore," Yuki says. Her hands are clasped together in front of her, and her face is smooth.

Kel smiles at her. "And you're in love with a Tortallan boy."

"Yes," Yuki says. "Well, you know. Sometimes things happen to you that you wouldn't expect."

"He wrote poetry," Kel says. She picks up the fan on the low table in front of her and turns it over in her hand.

Yuki's eyes go soft. "He _tried_."

 

 

"You're dangerous with that thing," Alanna the Lioness says, eyes flicking over to the glaive. She nods firmly. "Good."

 

 

Owen likes the lucky cats on the windowsill, waves to them sometimes when he comes over in the evening for what he calls staff work and what Neal calls falling practice.

"You think they really bring you luck?" he asks one evening.

"Your feet need to be wider apart," Kel says. "Otherwise your balance will be off and before you know it, you'll be flat on the ground." She shrugs at him. "As for the cats-- well, I'm here, aren't I?"

 

 

Patricine stayed in the Islands. She got married. Kel was seven, during the wedding; carried a basket of flowers and herbs and stood perfectly still during the ceremony.

She remembers that Patricine was beautiful, incandescent even though her face was schooled smooth.

“People cry at Tortallan weddings,” Patricine told her before the ceremony started, kneeling down in her dress. “They don’t cry here.”

“I know that,” Kel said, blinking at her. “I don’t think I’ve been to a Tortallan wedding, anyways.”

“Anders and Vorinna,” Patricine said. “You were three.”

“I was a baby then,” Kel told her. “I almost don’t remember.” She reached out and took Patricine’s hand. “I won’t cry.”

 

 

“It is very hard to be Tortallan sometimes,” Shinko says softly. She swallows, and slides her hands into the folds of her cape. The gardens are frozen over with ice, even Queen Lianne’s, which are better-tended to than most. “It’s been-- I thought it would be easier, and sometimes it is, but--”

“I remember that,” Kel says. “It was different, a little, because I was in page training.”

“You told me,” Shinko says. “They called you the Yamani Lump.”

Kel nods. “I had to teach myself. And remind myself not to show off, and that the things I thought I knew were just, completely opposite.” She turns a corner neatly. “But then it came in useful, and I was so glad.”

“It’s not Roald,” Shinko says. “Your Court is so different, with everyone showing one thing and meaning another.” She shakes her head. “It’s easier when everyone is showing nothing.”

“Sometimes I think that too,” Kel says. She reaches out, grasps Shinko’s elbow. “Still, you’re-- maybe it’s only little things, but you’re helping. And Roald loves you.”

“Yes,” Shinko says, eyes crinkling at the corners. “He does.”

“”It stops being so hard, I think,” Kel says. “Come, let’s go inside.”

 

 

“They shouldn’t call you the Yamani Lump,” Seaver says.

“I thought you were frowning over math,” Kel says.

“Well, yes,” Seaver says. “I have numbers where they don’t belong. They still shouldn’t do it.”

“What part,” Kel asks, “the Yamani or the Lump?”

“Either,” Seaver says. “Both."

 

 

 

The Own come to New Hope for three weeks in the spring, end up elbow deep in mud with the rest of them. Dom forbids her from carpentry and tells her that he’ll need to touch up some of the embroidery on her flag.

“You know,”’ he says. It’s evening, or close to it, and they’re walking through the fields. Shoots are starting to push up, tiny and fragile. “I always liked what Yuki called you.”

“Hmm?” Kel asks, turns to him.

“Oh, Neal told me,” Dom says. “That time he almost sliced his fingers off with that fan of hers.” He waves his hand in the air. “The women of the warrior class.”

“That’s Yuki,” Kel says. “And Lady Haname, and my mother.”

“Yes,” Dom says, patient. “Warrior class, though, Kel. Look at what we did last year. People will follow you anywhere--”

“--because they’re idiots,” she tells them. “You and your squad especially--”

“And it, I don’t know,” Dom says. “Maybe I’m being romantic, but there’s a part of me that thinks she’s got the right idea.”

 

 

Neal says, “you’re different than we expected.”

“You’re setting a bad example,” Kel tells him. “How many weeks scrubbing pots was it?”

“See, you say that,” Neal says, “and you do it with that perfectly straight face, and you do things like flip men over your hip, and I’m just not sure what to do with it all.”

“Not get in trouble and be assigned extra work, I would think,” Kel says.

Neal waves a hand. “Those details aren’t important,” he says. “Do all the Yamani women know how to fight, too?”

“The princess will,” Kel says.

“See,” Neal says, “our princess wasn’t allowed to be a knight.”

“It’s not quite that,” Kel says, but she wonders what would have happened if Kalasin were.

 

 

It was hard with the Yamani at first too. She was the girl whose mother had saved the imperial relics from pirates, but she was too many edges, an imitator who couldn’t get the movements right. They were too polite to outwardly laugh, but by then, Kel could recognize the signs. It was a useful skill to have, if you were the daughter of a diplomat.

That passed, and then, they went home.

 

 

“Here’s the thing,” Lord Raoul says, turning over a paperweight in his hand. “In the end, we all swore service to the realm, didn’t we?”

  
  



End file.
